How Do I Know If I Am An Alcoholic Or Just A “Heavy Drinker”?

Just because you are having problems as a result of your drinking does not automatically mean that you are an Alcoholic. Anyone that makes that statement is mis-informed. And only you can determine whether or not you are an Alcoholic.

There are plenty of Moderate and Heavy Drinkers that have problems like DUI, family interventions, failed relationship, or a lost position at work. Some of them have the power to slow or stop drinking, given a sufficient reason. That’s the catch, a reason sufficient to stop on your own power. Alcoholics always rationalize away reasons why they stopped and truly don’t have the power to stay stopped even if they had a reason. Alcoholics always drink again despite current consequences or future ones; they have no choice.

Here’s a couple things to think about:

If you are drinking, and after a couple drinks, you are actually thirstier than when you started, you might be an Alcoholic. When non-Alcoholics drink, they reach a point where they are satisfied with the amount. I always got thirstier with each successive drink. I was never satisfied. The more I drank, the thirstier I got. Alcohol makes most people feel different, and when those people start to feel different, they usually stop drinking. They naturally don’t want to get out of control. When I drank and “started to fell it” I didn’t let off the gas, I stomped on it! I drank for the effect and when I got that effect, I drank more to increase the effect and to make it last longer.

If when drinking, you have no control over the amount you consume, you might be an Alcoholic. Being able to stop abruptly is not a trait an Alcoholic has, in general. Sure, there are times when I was able to “cut it off”, but the majority of the time, when I did that, I was not real happy about it. And I ultimately drank more later to “finish the job”.

There’s more to the difference between Moderate Drinkers, Heavy Drinkers and the Real Alcoholic as described in the Big Book. The biggest is the phenomenon of “craving”. It’s something that only occurs in the Alcoholic. Once they take a drink, Alcoholics physically crave alcohol more than anything else in life. They will sacrifice everything to satisfy that craving. I did. It didn’t matter what happened the last time I drank, how bad the consequence was, once I started drinking, I was unable to stop. No amount of disappointment in the eyes of my loved ones could stop the craving. This craving makes it impossible to control how much I drank.

Not only do Alcoholics have a craving when drinking, there is also a Mental Obsession that constantly keeps Alcohol at the forefront of our thoughts. Whenever I was able to stop drinking and it was out of my system, I couldn’t stop thinking about drinking. I constantly thought about the next time I could drink. If I got caught and had to stop, I thought about how long I would have to keep it under wraps before I could drink again. If I was at a point where I needed to not drink during the week, I was counting down the days to Friday and planning what I was going to drink and where. Once the booze was out of my system, it was all in my head, I couldn’t not think about drinking. I was either planning on the next drink or constantly telling myself that I can’t drink today. I could never just live the life that was in front of me and enjoy things without drinking or thinking about drinking. Alcohol was the thing that I thought made life bearable.

What have you done to control your drinking up to this point? I tried everything I could think of. I changed liquor to wine to beer and then reversed it when that didn’t work. I tried exercising more. I told myself that if I went to gym, I couldn’t be an Alcoholic. I tried only drinking on the weekends, and that lasted about a week. I tried waiting until after work or class but drinking in the morning became necessary towards the end of my drinking so that didn’t work for too long. I used various drugs to control my drinking. I made promises to all sorts of people and I really meant them when I made them. But I was never able to keep them, life was just too much to deal with and I always drank again.

Here's a good one. Have you ever told yourself “I could stop if I wanted to, I just don’t want to.”? Have you ever said that, knowing that you just had some pretty serious consequences, again? The only accurate description of that kind of thinking is delusional. Sorry to say that, but that’s what it is. I said that to myself countless times and I was absolutely delusional in my thinking. At no point could I stop if I wanted to. That was something I told myself to make me feel better about failing yet again. Telling myself that “I could stop if I wanted to” was easier than feeling like the failure that I was.

The Great Obsession of every Alcoholic is that somehow, some day, we could control and enjoy our drinking. That was my obsession for sure! When I tried to control my drinking by limiting the number of drinks or trying not to drink “today”, I never enjoyed it. I didn’t want to control my drinking and was forcing myself to do it. And when I tried to enjoy my drinking, I was usually so out of control I got into trouble. My idea of enjoying drinking is getting blind drunk and there’s no control in that. Despite my numerous attempts to control and enjoy my drinking, I could never get both at the same time.

Here are a few links to AA.org’s site for some literature that could be helpful in figuring out if you are or are not an alcoholic. If you get to a meeting to check things out, there will be plenty of people to answer questions you have.

New to AA Literature

Frequently Asked Questions About AA

There’s lots of AA meetings available to attend in-person or virtually. If you’re struggling with drinking, seek out the help you need, you can’t do it on your own. I know I couldn’t do it on my own and still can’t.

Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps as outlined in the book. You’ll see more of the truth about who you are and eventually it’ll change your life.

Change Your Truth, Change Your Life.

Haler Smith