Are You Working the Promises and Hoping the Steps Come True?

When I first came into AA, the Promises caught my attention as being hard to get. People would read them in meetings, and I’d hear old-timers talk about how they came true in their lives. The Promises sounded amazing—peace of mind, freedom from fear, a new outlook on life. Who wouldn’t want that? As a newcomer, I thought the promises would come true by just not drinking and going to a few meetings. I didn’t understand that the Promises aren’t something I “work.” They’re something that unfold when I work the Steps.

There are many Promises throughout the Big Book. The ones most often read at meetings are the Ninth Step Promises. They don’t show up at the end of the work—they show up while we are working Step 9. The book even says we will be amazed before we are half-way through. That means some of those Promises begin to appear while we’re still in the middle of making amends, long before the work is fully done. Then there are the Tenth Step Promises, beginning at the bottom of page 84 and running into the first full paragraph of page 85. These are the results of living in Step 10, where we watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear on a daily basis and make things right as we go. These different sets of Promises remind us that AA is filled with spiritual outcomes—but they always follow spiritual action. Action always leads the way.

The Steps are where the real work happens. The Promises are not instructions, the Steps are. The Promises are the natural results of taking those instructions seriously. When I’m making amends in Step 9, I don’t focus on whether I’m “feeling” the Promises yet. I focus on making the amends; I focus on the action.  And yet, halfway through that process, I may suddenly feel a sense of relief, of peace, of connection. That’s the Promises coming true, but only because the Step is being done.

The danger comes when I flip that order around. If I wait for the Promises to come true before I act, I’ll be waiting a long time. Some people get discouraged when they expect the Promises to arrive like clockwork without having done the work. Others get restless because they’ve heard the Promises in meetings but don’t see them in their own lives yet. That disappointment can be heavy, and if left unchecked, it can even lead back to drinking. The truth is simple: Promises are byproducts, not prerequisites.

I’ve learned that the freedom and intuition described in the Tenth Step Promises only come when I have taken the 9 previous Steps and I’m actually practicing Step 10 each day. The peace and joy of the Ninth Step Promises only appear after I have completed the first 8 Steps and while I’m out there cleaning up the wreckage of the past. The Big Book doesn’t tell us to chase the results—it tells us to do the work. The Promises are God’s way of showing us that the work is worth it.

So, am I working the Promises and hoping the Steps come true, or am I working the Steps and trusting the Promises to follow? For me, the answer is clear today. My job is to work the Steps. My Higher Power’s job is to let the Promises unfold. That shift in focus changes everything. Instead of sitting back, waiting to “feel” something, I take action. And instead of being disappointed when I don’t see instant results, I stay grateful for the process, having faith that the outcomes will come in God’s time.

The greatest gift of AA is that it doesn’t leave us guessing. The Steps lay out the spiritual path, and the Promises are the spiritual results. We don’t have to force the results or wonder if the Promises are real. They come naturally, just as the book says, when we do the work. For anyone new, I’d simply say: keep to the Steps, and let the Promises take care of themselves. Do the work, the results will follow.

There’s lots of AA meetings available to attend in-person or virtually. If you’re struggling with drinking, seek out the help you need, you can’t do it on your own. I know I couldn’t do it on my own and still can’t.

Find a sponsor that will take you through the steps as outlined in the book. You’ll see more of the truth about who you are and eventually it’ll change your life.

Change Your Truth, Change Your Life.

Haler Smith